I had a chat with John yesterday about this and that and some work stuff. It was good to hear from him and he told me he was doing okay. I’m pretty sure it was for that moment but I’ll take it.
One of the things we discussed was how Noodle is showing her age and she’s not walking as much as she used to. My last walk with her was back in March when her and John were here on their way to Ontario. As it made me sad to think that might have been our last walk together, I decided I’d go for a walk at the dog park and take my time like she was there.
Now, I can’t walk slow enough to replicate walking with her, so I thought I’d stop at every bench along the way and, using my cell phone, take a photo of the view I was getting.
It was nice to see the park bustling with people and dogs enjoying the sunshine before it got too hot out. It was hotter than Noodle would have liked and I found it warmer than I liked, even walking slowly.
The first bench I came too has obviously been there a while and the trees have grown up in front of it as there’s not much of a view.
Since there really wasn’t much to see, I walked to the edge of the trees and took a photo of the pond.
It isn’t too far to the next bench and the view wasn’t really any better than my previous stop.
It’s even closer to the next bench but at least it was on the other side of the path so my view was different. Again, not much of a view but the lens flare the sun provided was the most interesting thing in the frame.
It’s not too far to the next bench but at least you can see the river from this one.
There were ducks on a very still pond at my next stop.
A very different view at my next stop but it wasn’t all that far to go to reach it.
It’s a bit further a jaunt and another change of scenery for the next bench. It was a nice peaceful stop however.
The next bench also faces the river but didn’t feel as peaceful as the last one.
I learned my next stop would be my last one as there is a really long stretch of trail without a bench.
There are 2 intersections along the way that have a bench down the other direction but since they weren’t on my direct line of walking, I didn’t count them as stops.
I did take a photo between the intersections as the little swamp and pond area has been changed since my last visit.
I don’t know if the Swamp Donkey, aka, Noodle, would enjoy it, but I’d be willing to think so.
I did stop at the bench where I had parked but I had to walk past my truck to get to it as I hadn’t passed it on my walk.
I made the loop in about half the time I would have taken if I was walking with John and Noodle but I was about twice as long as I taken if I was just walking it for the steps.
John has told me before that I’m pretty much the only person who hasn’t been trying to get him to come back here. I know being here would be hard on him so I don’t see the point of asking, even if it helps me feel normal. One of the things he said to me yesterday kept rattling around my head as I walked. I had a real lightbulb coming on moment when he said; “I don’t think they understand that I can’t deal with my grief and your grief at the same time.”
I think I kind of knew that way back in a corner of my mind but I had never thought of it that way until I hear it articulated into words.
I’ve often wondered why, after a loss, so many people choose to move away for a fresh start. This epiphany makes so much sense.
I still miss our dog walking routine and other stuff but I will not ask John when he’s coming back. Nor will I try to guilt him into doing that. I can only hope he gets to a point he’s ready to come back sooner than later. And I’ll support him no matter what his decisions are.
Hank's Blog - Musings of a Wandering Mind 